Reality Bites Me
by Hunter of Artemis101
Summary: "...Because it's fun to write a fanfic about a show you've never seen." Dedicated to Wemmabby, for her thirteenth birthday! Parody. Rated T for teenager.


Some of my teachers used to call me...troubled.

Am I a troubled person? No!

At least, I didn't think I was a troubled person.

Until now.

It all started yesterday, when the most strangest thing possible happened to me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX(Happy B-day, Abby!)XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So... you're with Andrea? I'm so confused with the couples on this show!" I all but shrieked, tempted to slam my face onto the keyboard. I was going officially insane. Off my rocker, crazy, coo-coo for cocoa puffs and I'm sure there were plenty other words that described the word insane.

I bet your pretty confused right now. Just so you're not alone, I was pretty puzzled as well. Before, I begin to tell the tale of the worst thing to ever possibly happen to me-I should probably tell you about myself.

My name is Katherine. Katherine Pikes. You can call me Katie, though. I'm normal. Well, sort of. I got more detentions that people couldn't count on one finger and I had a severe case of ADHD. Translation: Absolute couldn't sit still for even one minute, without doing something _exciting. _And what I mean by exciting, is fun. But apparently, most teachers and students at STD couldn't handle fun. My school stands for Scareview Tolerance Directory middle school. Believe me, when I first went there, I thought it said something else. Anyway, with my ADHD and horrifyingly mean teachers it didn't exactly fall under the category of 'rainbows and unicorns forever'.

To say the least, it made school a very difficult time for me.

"That's what you get for staying up all night on Wikipedia..." Rick teased in an amused voice. Rick was the man I had only known for about one minute. They were appearing everywhere. In my room, the bathroom, (while I was taking a shower!) any were in a ten foot radius of me.

Who you ask? The characters from the popular television show...The Walking Dead.

I shot Rick a glare and had a small fantasy of strangling him to death, trying to keep the evil smirk off of my face. I had stayed up all night, on websites, (mostly Wikipedia) trying to learn everything I could about the dramatic TV show and keep up with all the couples. It was hard enough that characters from a fictional television show were appearing at my house. It was even harder to keep them in lockdown, in my room, so they were hidden from my parents.

The hardest thing was though; I never watched one single episode of the Walking Dead nor read the comics!

Before you all go psycho on me, fan girls and fan guys, it technically isn't my fault! I had just heard about the show when I got into Middle School and the first three seasons were already out. Do you really expect me to watch the episodes halfway through the show? No, didn't think so.

"You do know the show is on Netflix, right?" Que another glare towards him, he looked up from a colorful book he was engrossed in. "What did I say?"

"Just shut up!"

"Someone's touchy," He said. I ignored that comment."Must be PMS." That retort, however, I did not ignore. My jaw dropped, and he dodged the large pillow that I had chucked at him, causing him to drop my book. It landed on the floor, with a thud.

"Would you stop it, Rick?" A girl with blonde hair said, who was resting on my beanbag chair, loading her gun. It actually was a funny sight to see a rifle and a hot pink chair together. "She's only, like, six."

"Not six!" I said, slightly offended. " Twelve, going on thirteen!" She didn't look up, as she cocked the gun into place, making a sharp clicking noise. She rolled her eyes, and positioned herself differently, so she could load the gun easily.

"...Why do have a gun?" I questioned carefully, a little fearful that she would blow my brains out.

"Protection, from zombies. Duh! What world are you living in?"

"The real world." Before I could go off topic again, I asked, "what's your name again?"

"Amy," she replied, setting the gun to the side and holding her hair up. While she did that her arms raised, showing her armpits. Which, by the way, reeked. Well, they all pretty much did. They were covered in thick layers of grime and dirt, so I tried my best to say away from them.

"Wait," I said backtracking. "Amy as in Andrea's sister?" A scowl played on her lips and she looked tempted to say no. "Yes."

"You're supposed to be dead!" I blurted out, before I could stop myself. Whoops...I probably shouldn't have said that. Rick turned his head to face me, surprise written across his features, and Amy raised an eyebrow. Then, gestured to her body. "As you can see I'm fine."

"... " Silence.

"Were still on season one," Lori exclaimed and everyone in the room, nodded their head in agreement.

Andrea, who was Amy's sister opened the door just then. Her wet blonde hair was covered by a towel and she wore my mother's pink bathrobe. "And where have you been?" I yelled, angrily approaching her. Andrea looked behind her in puzzlement, as if I was referring to someone else.

"Bathroom. It's nice to finally get a shower." She said, finally realizing that I was talking to her. I snatched the newspaper from her hands, and slammed my bedroom door closed.

I whisper yelled, "my parents could have seen you!" Andrea gave me a grin, that disturbed me in a way. She then, held up a rifle proudly. "That was what this was for." I mentally did a face palm, and reminded myself to take away any of their weapons.

Then Rick began to snicker, and I turned around watching him flip a page to a book. A very familiar book... a book that wasn't so much a book or a novel.

More like a _diary. _

"Are you reading through my diary?" I gasped in disbelief, dread filling through me. He looked up, startled. "Gimme that!"

And of course that led to an extreme game of monkey in the middle. Which, I of course, was in the middle. "Give it to me!" I cried, as Rick tossed it to Andrea. Andrea then tossed it Lori, then to Amy, then to her son Carl, and so on. You get the gist.

I eventually snatched it away, just in time to hear the doorbell ring from the front door. I stared at them icily and held an accusing finger at them. "Stay. Here." I said it firmly, yet slowly, like talking to infants. I then jogged to the door and opened it.

Standing in front of me was Abby, one of my friends, licking an ice cream cone.

"Abby? What are you doing here?"

She gave another lick. "Gee thanks, I feel so welcomed." I sighed and opened the door, as she walked past me. "Sorry, It's been a rough day."

She paused momentarily then asked, "Why?"

I then exclaimed hell on earth, which by the way, was my room momentarily.

"Your joking!" She accused, after I explained to her who was in my bedroom.

"Am not!"

"Are too. I can't believe you are lying to me about this. To meet the characters of the Walking Dead... is my life's dream." Then, she became really teary eyed. I rolled my eyes and pointed at the door to the room. Finally, they were being quiet.

"If you don't believe me, why don't you go check?" Abby nodded her head and Justin Beiber's hair flip, while I just shook my head in disbelief.

She handed me her ice cream cone, cone side down. Then, walked across my hallway and pulled open the door.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how Abby died.

Andrea stood over her, her rifle still in hand.

"Was she not a zombie?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX(Happy Birthday Abby! Ps. sorry that you...died.)XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My eyelids fluttered open, as I took in the comfort of my room. Thank gosh! It had all been one weird, messed up dream. I smiled, fatigued and relaxed into the comfort of my ropes.

Wait-ropes?

My eyes widened, suddenly realizing that the thing tied around me wasn't my blanket. It was a rope!

"She's a walker!" Carl called out, looking around for his mother Lori, or anyone else for that matter. "Somebody blow her brains out!" Maybe I shouldn't have called Carl an infant turd... or shrimp/shrimpy or small fry, short stop, half pint, oompa loompa, short stack, Shorty mc short stuff, munchkin, Thumbelina... trust me folks the list could go on forever.

I made a smothering, noise, considering my mouth was gagged.

Lori ran into the room, holding a pistol.

And that is how I died.

So in the end, the Walking Dead could never survive in reality.

**A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ABBY! I wrote this cause it's my friend's b-day and cause it's fun to write a fanfic about a show you've never seen before!**


End file.
